carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

someone: edits a lengthy j*hn gr**n post to say “a cat friendzoned me today”

the crypt keeper himself: ATTENTION ATTENTION i do NOT hate cats and i do NOT believe in the friendzone!!! some DARN RAPSCALLION has decided to edit my post! i didnt say this! i think cats are alright and you know what??? DOGS are cool too! to anyone offended by this, i am deeply sorry, i did NOT write this post and the person who RUDELY edited my words has a LOT of growing up to do. speaking of growing up, i’m NOT old!! and you unruly jacknapes should STOP making fun of me for being skeletor in a community full of whippersnappers. now i’m going to write seventeen paragraphs on how i am so much more cool and mature than a fifteen year old playing a prank on my dusty ancient ass: *ahem* webster’s dictionary defins “Adult” as–