insomniac-arrest:

sea-salted-wolverine:

insomniac-arrest:

Pros:

1. One of the most efficient gaits of the animal kingdom
2. Can carry and use tools while walking
3. Less area for sun exposure back in Africa (top of the head vs whole back)
4. Can carry our young since their stupid tiny hands can’t cling to us anymore like proper primates
5. Taller: see predators coming, pick fruit from trees, give better high-fives
6. Look scarier to other animals

Cons:

1. Back hurty
2. BIRTH HURTY x100
3. Knees: “I didn’t sign up for this.”
4. Heart: “I didn’t sign up for this.”
1. our circulatory system has to work so hard bro
5. Big tiger can see us better
6. Did I mention how much birth hurts bc of our stupid upright hips? Seriously, commonly dying in childbirth isn’t an evolutionary benefit smh

Anyway, I would like to hold a re-vote on walking upright, who’s game? 

unintended side effect: no tail so our heads got bigger to counter balance and keep us from constantly falling over. enormous skull now full of brain

benefit of brain - made friends with wolves
problem with brain - v. fragile and invented capitalism

brain so fragile, meat so huge :(