Anakin and Ahsoka :) I haven’t drawn them in such a long time, bear with me for any inaccuracies, please! This is a little clean up/coloring practice. Hope you like it!! :)
maybe you express love by yelling “fight me!” with tears streaming down your face. maybe you need to work out your repressed trauma, or maybe you just want some exercise. Whichever it is, here’s everything you need to know to decide which pillar of galactic evil to bloody your knuckles on!
Darth Vader
Do it. Fight Darth Vader. You’ll never win, and that’s the goal. from the cradle to the coffin, every one of us knows who he is and what he’s capable of, and yearns to erotically asphyxiated by the one true goth of all time. Fight him, and gasp your final breath to the thrilling thunder of the imperial march
end fight probability: 300% you die highly aroused and emotionally fulfilled
Palpatine
Not a good idea at all. If you must scratch the vengeance itch, dew it, but he’s slippery for such a crusty dude and dreadfully powerful. Watch out for those sharp, germy fingers.
end fight probability: 80% he fries you to a crisp, 20% you win but later die of infected wounds
Darth Maul
Don’t even fucking try. This bugger can survive literally anything. Give up.
end fight probability: 200% even if you shoot him into the fucking sun, he survives it
General Grievous
Why would you fight my old boy Grievous? he’s just trying to do his job and he’s so tired. Look at the bags under his eyes. And he has asthma. if you decide to be a heartless beast and fight him anyway, you will lose, because he has four arms and he’s 7 feet tall. Just buy him a drink and leave him alone.
end fight probability: 100% he cuts you into sashimi, but you deserve it for picking a fight with Johnny-four-lightsabers
Count Dooku
I can’t imagine feeling anything about him strongly enough to warrant a fight, but if that’s your thing, go ahead I guess. Put out his creepy eyes first.
end fight probability: 60% you win because he’s old, but sustain injuries
Kylo Ren
Please, fight him. Beat his ass. if you can dodge the saber and hold off laughing long enough to get a grip on his hair, he’ll trip over his own garments trying to shake you off and fall on his own blades. finish it up by crushing his windpipe so we never have to suffer his insufferable voice ever again. Good luck and godspeed.
end fight probability: 82% you rip his face off (100% I need counseling)
Snoke
Don’t fight this crusty boy until we know more about his stats. but if you decide to anyway, he has serious claws – you better protect your neck against a Gollum-style strangling. he’s survived this far, he can probably survive a lot more. if you can take him seriously long enough to attack.
end fight probability: 75% he bludgeons you with a frozen rat (his supper) while screaming “for the last goddamn time I am NOT darth plageius”
Tarkin
Definitely fight him, take out all your inner rage on the poster boy for creepy old white men who ruin everything. The main thing is to watch out for those cheekbones, which can probably split wood and definitely slice your hand off. Don’t be distracted by his foul stench either. The good news is that he’s old and frail and the only exercise he’s ever had is furiously jacking it to imperialist propaganda.
end fight probability: 90% you kill him, 64% the spores released by his disintegrating corpse give you a debilitating lung disease
Krennic
Fight him, but be careful about it, he’s famously prone to violent confrontation and not afraid to start swinging. Target his major weakness: the aesthetic. if you can stand on his cape you can probably immobilize him.
end fight probability: 80% you win with minor injuries
Hux
this guy is literally everything wrong with the world today – fascism, gingers, men who won’t shut up. Fight him and kill him for all of us. It’ll be easy, he looks to be made of damp bread & library paste. Go for it. Wring his neck
end fight probability: 99% you break every bone in his pathetic body
Phasma
This is a tricky one. if you’re a wookiee, go ahead, you may able to win. If you’re human, you will be slammed to the ground before you knew what hit you, with a blaster barrel in your mouth. But if you’re a lesbian that was probably the goal all along.
end fight probability: 110% she breaks every bone in your pathetic body
Thrawn
Deep down, we all want to either fight him or fuck him, so do it. Fight him. Grab him by that gigantic forehead and smash him through a wall, which was part of his master plan all along, of course. He’ll bust out those thick blue biceps and either the brawl will continue or you’ll end up making passionate love on the floor.
end fight probability: whatever happened, it was artistically done
K2 joining the droid family gives us so many great new things:
> K2 and C3P0 get along super well and become “these are the odds” friends and while Luke, and everyone else, act like they can’t stand it, they wouldn’t trade either of the droids for the world
> in the beginning R2 hated K2 because what the fuck buddy C3P0 is his fuck off
> since R2 is small and K2 is tall, R2 would zap K2 in the legs back when he didn’t like the taller droid
> eventually R2 realizes that two droids with similar personalities meant two droids to mess with
> R2 teaches K2 to swear
> “good fucking morning Cassian, what shit is planned for today?”
> C3P0 is APPALLED and ANGRY because now two of the three droids he’s closest with swear like sailors and what if it rubs off on little BB-8?!?!!
> BB-8 teaches K2 how to give a thumbs-up
> K2 starts giving thumbs-up everywhere to anyone at any time
> “damnit my blaster is broken!”
K2: *thumbs-up*
“NOT NOW K2!!”
> similarly, R2 teaches K2 to give the finger
> K2 often gets giving thumbs-up and the finger confused
> C3P0 ends up explaining it to K2 because R2 wouldn’t tell K2 himself because he thinks it’s hilarious
> BB-8 loves listening to K2’s stories because she’s heard C3P0 and R2’s a billion times and K2’s stories are new ones
> it’s almost impossible to see one without seeing the others, the four droids are so close they even fall asleep together in a weird but cute kind of pile
> K2 will just carry BB-8 around and no one knows why, the little droid is perfectly capable of moving on its own, but no one asks for the longest time and when somebody finally does ask K2’s reply is, “she likes to be tall”
> K2: “no R2D2, I will not lift you up so you can “zap that motherfucker in the face” as you said”
R2: *angry beeping*
> K2 doesn’t really do nicknames, so he calls BB-8, R2D2, and C3P0 just that, their full names
> they’re as fiercely loyal to and as fiercely protective of each other as they are to their humans
> some asshole once made a comment about how C3P0 should just be scrapped already and before R2 had a chance to do anything K2 was lifting the guy up by the neck and telling him that he still remembers some old torture tricks from back when he was an imperial droid so why don’t you just apologize and hopefully I won’t have to use them
> R2 still zapped the guy though. Right in the nuts
> BB-8 also zapped him, but in the back of his knees because that’s as far as she could reach
> sometimes people don’t like that K2 used to work for the enemy, or say that BB-8 doesn’t really have a purpose, and every time the other three come to the rescue
> once in a blue moon is someone mean to R2 because almost everyone knows R2 is always ready to fight, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, nor does it mean the others don’t come right away when it does
> the more time K2 spends with the other two droids the more he becomes a hugger (but only to his droid friends, if he tried to hug a human he would crush them)
> R2 makes all these insane bets with K2 mostly because he knows C3P0 would never do them, but K2 does
> they usually go something like R2 telling K2 that the probability of him shouting the droid equivalent of “penis” out loud during a meeting is low and there’s no way K2 could ever bring the probability percentage up and K2 takes the bait and lo and behold during the next meeting K2 shouts out the droid equivalent of penis and R2 just looses it
> and after a long, long, long lecture from C3P0, R2 apologizes and K2 swears he won’t fall for it again, but two weeks later it’s a new bet and–surprise, surprise–K2 goes for it. (this is an ongoing occurrence)
> K2 uses C3P0 as an armrest
> C3P0: “BB-8, I truly appreciate how well behaved you are”
BB-8: *says “shit” in binary*
C3P0: “ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT?!?!?!” (It was K2)
so apparently while Padmé’s handmaidens were training in “handmaiden bootcamp”, Padmé went and joined in on the training pretending to be a handmaiden too to get to know the girls better, and then later revealed herself to actually be Queen Amidala so basically
Look who’s here! I have to admit; it was kind of heartwarming to see Luke and my parents together. They instantly started laughing and talking as though they had never been apart. They’re always that way…I guess when you fight a war together, you form bonds that transcend time.
